Facebook hiatus

Recently, I made an observation. I woke up early one morning at the crash pad, pleased that I had practically a whole day to get things done before having to report to work just after 4 pm. I made a giant pot of coffee and sat down to Facebook to see what all my friends and family were up to, and to play a few rounds of Bejeweled Blitz.

I've tried Candy Crush, but you have to be pretty clever for that game. You also have to involve your friends at some point in order to unlock further levels, which pisses off your friends. It's like a horrible pyramid scheme. Oh, and once your turns are over, you have to wait to feed your habit again; and I hate waiting! I want mindless entertainment NOW!! I flew with a friend of mine who was able to trick Candy Crush into thinking more time had passed than actually had by manually changing the time and date on his phone. It backfired, and now he has to wait something like 500 million hours to play again!!

I sat down with my first cup of coffee at 8 am. Before I knew it, I was out of coffee, I was more jittery than a Parkinson's patient, and it was 11:30. THREE AND A HALF HOURS?!?! WTF!?!?! I usually have to be in a drunken blackout to lose that kind of time! I got to wondering how much time I had actually wasted on Facebook and silly computer games. How much could I accomplish if I stopped for just one week? I warned all of Facebook land that I wouldn't be around to "like" or comment on their status, post funny pictures, or make observations. After all, with the sudden stoppage, I didn't want anyone thinking I'd died. I knew it was going to be tough, so in an effort to cope with stopping my addiction cold turkey, I kept a running journal in the form of a rough draft here on Blogger. The following are my observations:

Day 1:
1) I studied an hour and a half of Italian using Rosetta Stone.
2) I worked out.
3) I had enough time to put on makeup before work so I felt pretty and confident.
4) Interesting crap happened today, and I couldn't share it with the world!! We aborted a takeoff, for God's sake! Facebook land needs to know!!
5) My phone still had 70% of its battery life at the end of a long day, despite multiple calls to maintenance and dispatch. And weather checking. And waking it up to almost open up FB, then putting it to sleep again with a deep sigh, realizing I still had 6 days to go.
6) I am replying to personal emails instead of just clicking "like."

Day 2:
1) Another hour and a half of Rosetta Stone.
2) Answered a call from our assistant chief pilot about not filing a report regarding the aborted takeoff. Evidently, the FAA was on his ass, so he was on mine.
3) Filed a report for the aborted takeoff.
4) Immense boredom while in the airport waiting on my commute. Magazines not fixing the problem.
5) I'm wondering what I'm missing, and what sort of hilarious things my friends James, Hal, and Kevin are posting. I make a mental note to go through each of their pages at length when I return.
6) Much safer driving habits on the drive from STL airport to my home.
7) My friends are out to get me. They keep "tagging" me in their posts so Facebook sends me emails! Not fair! Probably because they are all gambling on how long I will actually last.

Day 3: I'm home today!
1) Helped Sweet Cheeks run a water line from downstairs to the new fridge upstairs and trouble-shot why it isn't working properly.
2) Dropped off the dry cleaning
3) Got a flu shot
4) Grocery shopped
5) Went out for breakfast and dinner (supper, for you folks who call it that name)
6) Did laundry
7) Watched the Cardinals game
8) Played X-Box with Sweet Cheeks

Day 4:
1) Put chili fixin's in the crock pot
2) More quality time with Cheeks, and more productivity I don't have time to list here.
3) I really don't need this coping journal anymore, as I now have too much real live shit to do. Later, Bitches!!!

Day 7:
1) I've had more personal correspondence with my family than ever before, because I'm writing personal emails and making phone calls instead of just clicking "like." - GOOD!!!!
2) I have no creative outlet for the snarky comments and witty observations that randomly pop into my head and must be shared or else my brain will explode. BAD!!!!!
3) My commute home is delayed (of course it is.... it's Trans States Airlines!), and I only have 3 hours to go to make it an entire week Facebook free. Also, I really miss my friends, their comments, witty observations, baby/puppy/cat pictures, and the ease of keeping in touch without having to pick up the phone. SCREW IT! I'm logging back in to Facebook!!!

A friend of mine said I would look back on my week and see nothing but productivity. He was right. The first few days were much more difficult than I thought they'd be!! I found myself thinking about Facebook at the oddest times! Sometimes when I'd close my eyes, I'd even see the familiar "Facebook Blue" trim. The sheer muscle memory of opening up my phone and touching the FB app without thinking, then rushing to close it because I'm not supposed to be doing that now, was crazy. I do believe social media affects the same part of your brain as any other addiction. It was an interesting experiment. I recommend trying it!

Returning to Facebook was much like walking into a bar again after giving up drinking for 29 days. It was warm, familiar, inviting. It's like a part of my soul returned. And yet, the tiny little part of me who prospered and grew during my Facebook Hiatus was sad.

I got so much done while away from Facebook, but I could never give it up completely. While I'm sure I could create a cure for cancer, learn 5 languages, and build the body of a Brazilian Sun Goddess in the amount of time I waste online, what good would all of that be if I couldn't tell the world about it on Facebook? I have a deep, primal need to know when one of my friends' kids does something funny. Or their favorite athletic team does well. Or they screwed up their bid for the next month. Or they made a funny observation, announcement, had a good workout, decided to be lazy, heard a life changing piece of music, or post a picture of their food. Or they're being harassed by passengers/scheduling/other crew members/canceled flights/crazy weather/etc etc etc. Or anything else newsworthy. Plus, I laugh all the time at some of the hilarious stuff all of you say!! I need that kind of outlet. Finally, I am able to fulfill my own narcissistic need to be adored through all of your "likes" and comments on the funny, sad, or sometimes brilliant crap that comes out of my brain!

Oh, and in an interesting bit of post-experiment reflection upon my return to Facebook, I made the following observations:
1) I haven't studied a bit of Italian.
2) I can't remember the last time I worked out.
3) I end each week with the highest score on the Bejeweled Blitz scoreboard.
4) I can barely squeeze my ass into my work pants.
5) My mind is at peace because all of my friends and family are just a click away.

Perhaps I should try this awesome thing that seems to work with my drinking. I think it's called "moderation."

Which reminds me.... I've spent a long time on this blog entry..... Time to check Facebook again!!