Christmas Magic

Christmas found me.

I talked to my Mom on Christmas Eve. She said my previous blog broke her heart! She did like, however, my resolve to be happy. She told me that when you make the effort to try and be in good spirits, it usually happens! She was right.

Christmas Eve there were 4 of us in the crash pad. Val, Chris, Fran, and myself. We decided to have a Christmas Eve Feast!! I defrosted salmon fillets, Val made herbed roasted potatoes, Chris made crescent rolls and asparagus, and Fran brought wine and dessert. We lit candles, got lit ourselves on the wine, and had a wonderful, civilized dinner. Afterwards, Val took pictures of me ... um.... interacting with the air-filled phallus next door. Seriously..... that thing looks like a red rocket. It is supposed to be Sponge Bob jumping out of a Christmas present and wearing a Santa Hat. To me, because of the awkward angle, flesh-coloring, and red tip.... it looks like a penis. I call it the "Christmas Cock."

Is that lawn ornament happy to see me?

Anyway.....

I woke up early Christmas Day, letting Val (my FO for the trip) sleep while I took my shower, got pretty, made coffee, and ate breakfast to the Christmas Carols of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. I even plugged in the Christmas tree........ briefly checking underneath to see if Santa had made a stop. What can I say, I will always believe. By the time Val woke up, I had switched the tv to "A Christmas Story." I felt the sting of tears, a pang of sadness, and longing for my family as Ralphie was opening his Red Ryder BB Gun, but I thought, "NO... I am not going to cry today. Today, I will be happy!"

Val and I had a lot of fun on our day trip. It was 4 legs. Cleveland - New York (LGA) - Manchester NH, New York, then back to Cleveland. It is routine for airports to broadcast their weather conditions and special notices on a frequency, then dedicate a special alphanumeric letter that you are supposed to tell Air Traffic Control when you check in, so that they know you have the most up-to-date information for that airport. Normally, these alphanumerics are Alpha, Bravo, Delta.... blah blah blah. Well, we decided to use Christmasy alphanumerics like "Grinch, Jingle, Noel, Santa, etc", in an effort to add a little fun and to make ATC laugh. It was kind of hit and miss with ATC, but it made us laugh!! During the welcome aboard announcement, I would introduce the flight attendant as "Mrs. Claus," or "Santa's little helper, sent to us straight from the North Pole." I was feeling especially bold by the go-home leg, and heard myself say, "She sees you when you're sleeping, she knows when you're awake. She has important safety information for you, so pay attention for goodness sake!"

In each case, I concluded with, "Merry Christmas to all.... and to all a good FLIGHT!" 

I even got applause on one occasion! I dare say..... we really had a lot of fun. Working with an awesome crew takes a great deal of sting out of being away on the holidays.

We borrowed this ornament from our Christmas Tree

Remember how I said in my previous entry, "All I want for Christmas is to be home"? Well, Val and I each experienced our own Christmas miracles. We each had to 2-leg it. Me through Washington DC Dulles, and her through Chicago O'Hare. Both of our flights were delayed, which was great news for us because it would have been next to impossible to make our commutes home. Both of our commutes were full, but due to some miracle, we each got seats in the back. Even though both of my flights were delayed (actually, my connecting flight in Dulles returned to the gate because of an anti-ice system problem, and I thought my world was ending), I dragged myself in the door to my house at 4:00am. I figured it was still Christmas in Hawaii (where I was born).


Long story short, I got what I wanted for Christmas!!!!! We both made it home.

Now it's New Year's Eve. Once again, I am in the Crash Pad. I have a day trip tomorrow. Although I wish I was at home (another first for me to be away on this holiday), I am not nearly as blue as I was a week ago. The snow is really coming down outside! I have my New Year's Hoppin' John (a kind of Cajun black-eyed peas and ham) on the stove, and a proscuitto-wrapped pork loin roasting in the oven - the one I was going to make for Christmas. The crash pad smells like Heaven. I have my wine next to me as I write this blog. Later, I plan on tuning in to New Year's Rockin' Eve, and although Dick Clark isn't with us anymore, I can't imagine New Year's without watching the ball drop. Roommates Meaghan and a really nice ExpressJet Captain whose name totally, inexcusably escapes me now (thank you California, for your wine) are my company tonight. I will force them to eat black-eyed peas and ham for the sake of their 2013, because the damn yankees have never heard of that tradition and I care about their futures! It's not the wild New Year's Eves from my youth, but it'll do.

So, here's to the end of 2012, and to whatever 2013 brings! Happy New Year's to all, and to all a speedy hangover recovery!!

Cheers.

Blue Christmas

It's December the 22nd. Most of us are still here today. While the Mayan calendar may have been wrong, the Gregorian calendar (the one we all currently use today) hit the nail on the head. Winter Storm Draco came and dumped a ton of snow across the Midwest and is still partying in the East as I write this. It's a dramatic "Welcome to Winter, Bitches!!" from mother nature. I am happy to not be flying today.

As one who suffers from seasonal sadness (I don't think the FAA will let me call it depression), I expected the blues to hit me sometime this winter. Usually, it waits until mid-January. However, since I was not able to make my pre-Christmas commute home, I found myself with 2 bonus days in the crash pad here in Cleveland. As the precip changed from rain to snow, the wind kicked up, the temperature dropped, and so did my spirits. There is no lonelier feeling than saying good-bye to your crew at the end of a trip, and heading for a place that is not your home.

Not that the crash pad is a bad place to be. I love my roommates! We laugh a lot. Yesterday, I busied myself by walking 3 miles in the snow, to the grocery store and back, for supplies. I started drinking wine and rum about 2 in the afternoon and watched the cooking channel with 2 of my roomies. I made baked ziti for those who wanted it, and watched the snow fly by the window. It was almost fun.

Today, I have the place to myself. I'm trying to busy myself by doing chores. I even shoveled the driveway. Partly because it was a nice thing to do for those few who have cars here, partly so I wouldn't pop another cork at 10:00am. I may go for a walk later. Or, I may just pop that cork.

I wrote to my dad yesterday, while in my drunk funk. I mentioned that I was disappointed in myself for being such a Grinch this year. I don't know what happened. I love Christmas. But, this year, I just can't wait for it to be over. I've been so busy with work and physical therapy for my injured shoulder, I haven't had time to shop for anyone. I am sick of the Christmas music that I love so much. I really don't want anything for Christmas but to be home. Poor Sweet Cheeks is sick and has no one to make him chicken soup and pump him full of drugs and hot toddies. And our darling sweet Clara Cat needs Mommy to pick up the ornaments she pulls down from our Christmas tree.

I told my father that I didn't think I would be so blue, that I am mad and disappointed in the way I am handling my Crash Pad Christmas. I am such a happy person! But I am still angry and sad that I have to be away. I know that spending the holidays away from home is part of my job. I know that I am lucky to be blessed with so much in this life, and I feel guilty about complaining and being sad. I know there are people out there who don't even have loved ones to miss on Christmas. I know that Christmas is a spirit, not a day, and that even if I can't get together with everyone until March, it will still be a celebration. I am thankful that I won't be alone on Christmas; my work family is still my family, and I'm lucky to fly with my roommate friend Val on Christmas Day. Neither of us can make our commutes home that night, so we'll be coming back to the pad for Christmas dinner (if I can pull it off, a prosciutto-wrapped roasted pork loin) and wine. There are no lectures anyone can give me that I haven't already given myself..... I just can't guilt myself out of my sadness.

When I woke up this morning, my father replied to my message:

"There have been times that I wished we were like bears and could hibernate through the holiday season. It can be frantic and maddening. It can be lonely and disappointing because what happens doesn't live up to what this season should be.... There are times, I believe, when we need to wallow in our grief and disappointments. We try to remind ourselves of how good we really have it, and that we should be grateful. We are, but we have to allow the sad to settle in for a little while.

And, you are right: you are a happy person! And, you make others around you smile, laugh and happy. I know: that's the effect you have on me. That's part of your charm and that soul that can feel shattered, but somehow mends itself."

When I read that, I put down my coffee, placed my head in my hands, and cried. It felt good.

I am so lucky to have such wise parents, who know the words I need to hear.

Tomorrow, I will return to work. I have a 2-day trip, followed by a day trip on Christmas. I will look for the Christmas spirit in the smiles on the faces of the people I'll bring together these next few days. I will find warmth in their reunions. I will tell children that I saw Santa streaking across the sky on Christmas Eve and hope their faces light up with wonder. I will be strong, charming, cheerful, and funny for those whose hearts are also aching for their families.

And when I finally get to my loved ones, I will hug them like there's no tomorrow! Just in case the Mayans were right after all. HA!

"Livin' the Dream," indeed.